remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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