My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize