i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
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Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
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I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower