You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.