people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets