did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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