Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
We smell like vodka and hangover
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