My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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