How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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