dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
