i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
