She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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