doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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