Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
