The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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