my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize