Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
