do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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