Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
