i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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