i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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