I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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