toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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