I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we're making bets on your personal life
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
