Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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