i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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