yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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