Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
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Found your dick twin last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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