We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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