We won't sleep together?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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