I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
