I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
