do herpes really smell.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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