Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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