the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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