you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
