I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
