Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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