i need an iv and a liver transplant
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
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