i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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