i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
