i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
