my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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