Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
third nipple confirmed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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