why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
