I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Enjoy the penises
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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