so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
