She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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