hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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