If i come over, it means nothing
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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