had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She announced her abortion via fbk
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Randomize
