we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
