Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
