i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
