It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
