I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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