just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
