Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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