i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.