Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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