Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.

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(586): I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business. http://tfl.nu/ppsa

Replies (34) Good night (5350) Bad night (1634)
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(206): View more from Washington

Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.

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(206): Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry. http://tfl.nu/kkw8

Replies (7) Good night (3949) Bad night (856)
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(631): View more from New York

After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch

(1-631): View more from New York

that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her

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(631): After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch (1-631): that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her http://tfl.nu/x28l

Replies (28) Good night (1312) Bad night (6179)
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(512): View more from Texas

after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

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(512): after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men. http://tfl.nu/7tn8

Replies (31) Good night (2285) Bad night (8368)
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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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(805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w

Replies (24) Good night (4237) Bad night (800)
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(917): View more from New York City

still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

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(917): still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet. http://tfl.nu/v49x

Replies (6) Good night (1215) Bad night (3824)
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(320): View more from Minnesota

For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.

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(320): For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates. http://tfl.nu/jze3

Replies (19) Good night (1512) Bad night (4188)
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(289): View more from Ontario

The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.

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(289): The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight. http://tfl.nu/z22w

Replies (5) Good night (7091) Bad night (1106)
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(646): View more from New York

all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.

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(646): all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries. http://tfl.nu/485r

Replies (2) Good night (3565) Bad night (921)
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(312): View more from Illinois

He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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(312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv

Replies (3) Good night (1929) Bad night (761)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.

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(248): I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/l2qb

Replies (9) Good night (1421) Bad night (990)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.

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(218): I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara. http://tfl.nu/7g4h

Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (701)
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(205): View more from Alabama

I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

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(205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8

Replies (3) Good night (1092) Bad night (551)
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(727): View more from Florida

The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy

(813): View more from Florida

HE'S NOT INVITED!!!

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(727): The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy (813): HE'S NOT INVITED!!! http://tfl.nu/3870

Replies (3) Good night (544) Bad night (414)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going

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(+44): I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going http://tfl.nu/bpru

Replies (5) Good night (671) Bad night (222)

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