I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics